College Lecture One: Appreciating Your Parents

I appreciate everything my parents have done for me, but I didn’t realize it until college. Independence is something that most of us look forward to. Some of us even make plans on how life will be after finally moving out from our parents’ houses and living on our own. I decided to find out sooner than most of the 1^st year students in UC Davis. According to the school, over 90% of freshmen chose to live in on-campus housing. Being part of the 10% helped me realize how much I appreciate my parents.

  My three housemates and I entered Davis from our hometown, fresh out of high school, confident with big dreams, and looking forward to our independence. We all became close friends throughout high school and had planned out our lives in Davis when we were admitted. We spent the last days of summer vacation visiting our warm apartment as we appreciated the “free-life”, enjoying the luxuries that came along with our apartment such as the swimming pool, gym, and free TV. My roommates and I treated our home as if it were a vacation resort, living carefree and just making the most out of everything. At the time, our apartment rent, bills, and house essentials were paid through financial aid and loans, and money was not an issue. Nothing seemed to go wrong, and the future looked as bright as the clear summer sky. My housemates and I thought, “so this is college,” as we sighed with relief with how good our lives seemed. Of course, at the time, we still returned back home, and didn’t fully move in until the first week of school.

The first night of moving in, I rushed my parents to leave because my housemates and I decided to throw a huge party for our closest friends from home. It was hard to let my parents go for the first time, but I was too excited for the party we were about to throw. The night was crazy, wreck-less, yet it was fun because we were finally allowed to express our independence. The next day, I woke up with a throbbing headache, a girl in my arms, and a major mess of a house to clean. It was still fresh on our minds that we finally living on our own, and cleaning the mess was still an enjoyable task. My parents were in the back of my mind as freedom took over my thoughts. It only took one month until I came crawling back home.

My family only lives an hour and thirty minutes away from Davis, but missing home became inevitable. My apartment is warm and comfortable, but it doesn’t compare to the warmth of my home with my family. Conversations I have with my housemates are nowhere close to the conversations I would have with my brother and sisters. My family always used to talk about how our each of our days went. My housemates and I only talked about how much rent is or what we have to buy for food. My bed in Davis is soothing and relaxing, but is nothing close to the softness of my bed at home. It even felt as if the temperature of my apartment was not as calming as the temperature back home.  

Mostly, I missed the smell and taste of my mom’s home cooked meals. I ate nothing but fast food and microwavable meals for the first month in college. Even eating at the restaurants in Downtown Davis was not sufficient to fulfill my appetite for home cooking. I missed having a different meal every day, prepared especially for me by my mom. Mondays back at home meant coming home to a fresh cooked Chicken Adobo. Now, I came home on Mondays, usually looking through the refrigerator and settling for Top-Ramen. Missing my mom’s cooking is more than missing the taste and smell of the food, but the soothing feelings the food brought because her cooking reminded me of my childhood. The smell of my mom’s cooking reminded me of the days when I was a kid and my mom would cook as I played with my Hot Wheels on the kitchen floor. The taste of her cooking reminded me of how my dad used to feed me. Thinking about my mom’s cooking made me want to surrender my independence. It was also the way my family sat around the table as we ate dinner. My family and I had irreplaceable conversations, stories and jokes. Living on my own became hard because I started to feel alone in my apartment. My housemates and I had different schedules, and sometimes it became difficult to see each other throughout the day. It soon became a “hi” and “bye” routine, as those would sometimes be the only words spoken between all of us throughout the entire day. The feeling of loneliness and the deprivation of home’s coziness made me miss my parents a lot more.

Missing home made me come home every weekend, even to this day. As I neared the third month as a freshman in Davis, I soon realized that living on your own has its costs. Paying for rent, for bills, and for daily needs became difficult because I was careless with my finances. As I struggled to find money, I began to appreciate the hard work my parents endure to provide for our family. Everything they provided me, I took for granted. My parents are able to provide to six people what I couldn’t provide for myself. Of course, it was difficult to ask for money since I boasted about living on my own, so I kept to myself, looking for a job to fund my needs. At the end of the third month, it was hard to keep myself from asking my parents for money. I told them I was ashamed for asking them for money, but they didn’t scold me. Instead, my parents told me to keep my head up, and continue to work hard. The inspiration that my parents provide is what I’m truly appreciative of.

Throughout my life, I thought that my parents just lectured me because they didn’t want me to act a certain way. I became aware that my parents just wanted to keep me motivated to chase my dreams instead of heading in the wrong direction. My parents were my inspiration to stay in school and to do well in school because I wanted to follow their orders. Once I gained my independence, I started slacking in school, and not going to class. The results became a tragedy, and I was placed on Academic Probation for the Fall Quarter. My parents didn’t get mad when they found out, and they only told me to do better next time. In that instance, I realized that all my parents ever wanted is for me to reach my goals. They always helped me stay determined and focused in school and to do well, and it was never for them. My parents always thought of what is best for me, and do everything they could so I could be where I want to. I appreciate the way my parents never gave up on pushing me to never give up.

I still miss home and my family, especially my parents. Realizing what my parents have provided me has helped me stay in Davis, and has motivated me to live on my own. I appreciate my mom and dad because they helped me realize that life is hard on your own, but at the end of the day, you’re all you have, and no one else will help you succeed but yourself. 

Sometimes the smallest, most seemingly insignificant things mean the biggest, most important things to others.